Mom's Survival Guide to Public Libraries

Confession: I remain intimidated by visiting the public library with my two small children. I have visions of Curious George's visit to the library, careening towards an exit on a cart laden with books. I'm always astounded that the man with the yellow hat continues to leave George alone in public places with nothing but a warning of "don't be too curious"? What is he thinking? Will he never learn?

Fact: My paranoia is justified and rational.

Soren (2) and Annika (4 months) and I visit my childhood library home.  Once a week, my mom would take me, my brother and sister to the library. Armed with thin plastic cards and well worn tote bags, we'd fill our bags with all the wonder of the universe. I was enraptured with castles, my brother with outer space. Other kids who visited the Vanderbilt Beach branch had to get lucky to get their hands on these treasures of ours. (A few years ago, the library confiscated my expired card with my name scribbled on the back. I still miss it.)

Now, I go with my two little ones to the same branch. The magic hangs densely in the air for me. Every trip feels a little like deja vu, except for the nagging suspense of bringing a volatile toddler to a sacred place. Almost every trip we've taken there has gone wonderfully, but nonetheless, I push the stroller to the front door and my palms sweat. We stop before the entrance and recap the library rules. Soren remembers them pretty well and controls himself as best he can. But once in a while, there's an anomaly.

This week's trip, for example, was such an anomaly. We arrived Monday morning as the doors opened to a surprise pre-K story hour. I was not amused. I should have just rolled with it, but I hadn't prepped Soren for how to behave, letting him know what would happen. The cheerful librarian was fantastic, but we weren't ready.  Soren, having discovered how truly awesome the mammalian king of the jungle and desert is, spotted a stuffed elephant on a shelf, and had to have it. With lots of noisy children around, I tried to sneak out and check out our books while my mom stayed with Soren. He perceived my not-so-stealthy departure with baby in tow, followed me out, and proceeded to have a tantrum when we explained that the elephant wasn't up for adoption, that he lived at the library, and he loves his home.

My mom whisked my screaming toddler out of the building, while I stood, surrounded by annoyed retirees who had been disturbed from the placidity of their books. I was mortified. My fears had manifested themselves, and had it not been for my mom, the scene would have escalated from ugly to grotesque.

I am certain that these fears are not unique to me, and that any reasonable parent shares these concerns. Who hasn't seen this face on their own child before?

So what is to be done? Shall we raise the white flag and decide that the public library is not an appropriate place for budding literary enthusiasts? I think not. Truth be told, it's a risk that a good parent must take. That is, unless that parent has the good fortune of an enormous book budget, and in that case, I buy gently used books. Email me.

So, out of solidarity with all other rational and book loving parents out there, here are my pointers for mitigating a chaotic, loud and embarrassing visit to the public library with your toddler.

1. Practice talking in quiet voices. Explain that the library is a quiet place, and that you have to be quiet to be able to borrow books from the library. I suggest you do this days before your first visit.
2. Talk about organization. Every book goes in a special place. If they don't go there, they are lost, and if someone wants to read that book, they won't be able to find it. When you arrive, show the cart where books are placed to be properly re-shelved. Encourage them to put the books you read together on the cart for you.
3. Time your visit well. We go right after a meal, our stomachs full, lots of energy, and well before naptime. Don't take a tired kid to the library, you'll regret it.
4. Bring one big toy, or two small ones. We bring a large stuffed animal, for example, or I have two matchbox cars tucked into our book bag. If we get out of control taking books off shelves faster than Mommy can put them back, put a toy in each hand and little fingers hit a happy speed bump.
5. Go with a list. If you read books on a theme like I do, going prepared is the only way to go. My list is separated by fiction (title, alphabetical by author's last name) and nonfiction (call number). I make a note of which books are board books, and may jot down a movie.
6. Enlist an accomplice. If you have too much kid to control, call someone and ask for help. My mom goes with us almost every week. You could ask a friend to join you, someone with more hands than you. My mom reads with Soren while I scan shelves for the books on my list and random treasures.
7. Avoid fines. Kids strapped into car seats, I set an appointment with a reminder on my phone's calendar: library books due March 7. I keep all our library books in a bin in the living room. They STAY in that bin. The receipt goes on the refrigerator, and on return day, rounding up library books is easy. Always look under the sofas first for missing books.
8. Keep videos somewhere safe. Mine stay in the car, where I have a DVD player. They're a life saver on long trips, I don't spend a fortune on movies, and we keep the TV monster at bay: in the car, and out of the house. They're also already in the car when it's time to the return them after just a few days.
9. Make a date. We go weekly. You could go every other week. If you go regularly, you never incur fines for forgetting to go. Make it a habit.
10. Librarians have seen everything. They've certainly seen screaming toddlers before. If things go south, leave and come back another day. Most likely, everything will go swimmingly, and you'll leave feeling like the stellar parent you are.

In the end, the important thing is that you do go, that you do read with your kids, and that you do it as often as you can.

Captain Jack and Firefighter Chris!

Soren, Annika and I have had an enormously fun run of very busy days and weeks. My wonderful mother-in-law came to visit, we went on exciting field trips, read some awesome new books (gifts from MeMaw) and some great borrowed books from the library. I learned that I don't enjoy solo trips to the library with two kids, and that even the most angelic two-year-old is a little more two on some days than on others.

For three weeks, we read a medley of books on the themes of firefighting, the beach, and farms. I find that even after we "end" a book theme, we keep reading on it. A lot of the books I got from the library on this week's theme, firefighting, did not pass the Soren test: he must pick it out of the book box and ask to read it twice. If he doesn't like it enough to ask for it again, it doesn't make it onto this blog.

So here's the list! This week's heavy hitting winner was:

At the Firehouse, by Anne Rockwell. Little Jason the Dalmation goes to visit Captain Jack and the crew at his neighborhood firehouse. Soren had just been to visit our friend and firefighter, Chris. He did all the same things dalmation Jason got to do: sit in the fire engine, look at the tools, hold the big heavy hose. Soren loves Captain Jack, and regularly references the heroic firefighter while playing with his fire truck, sometimes even out of the blue, while eating lunch for example. I am sad to say this book must be returned to the library.

Fiction pick #2 is "Firefighters: Speeding! Spraying! Saving!" by Patricia Hubbell.  This one was a welcome break from "yet another story about a tour at the fire station." We brought home several that we only read once, and quite frankly, weren't impressive (including, I'm sorry to say, "The Little Engine that Could and the Fire Rescue", which was boring and hard to read).  The cartoon firefighters in this story rush to a fire and save the day. It's poetic, fun to read, and permanently embedded "Wee-ah-woo" as the sound of a Siren in my little guy's brain. Another book I'm sad to say the library owns on our behalf.

Soren's grandma got him a few books from the "Snapshot Picture Library" and I am very impressed with them. They appear to be a little hard to find, but well worth every penny. They are full of beautiful photographs, action shots, and exciting and easy to understand explanations of fun concepts. We read this one often and stop to talk about details in the pictures. Soren adopted the word "someday" as a staple in his vocabulary after reading this book for the umpteenth time. Every time he'd ask "Want that?" while pointing at a helicopter or fire engine, I'd encourage him that it's possible that someday he could have one if he grew up smart and strong and became a firefighter. He now proudly answers his own requests: "Want that fire engine, Mom? Someday..."

This was the best of the nonfiction "about fire engines" books we brought home from the library. "Fire Truck" by Caroline Bingham is comprehensive, again with great pictures of firefighters in action, some basic information about fire safety and lots of interesting facts.

Nothing makes Mommy happier than getting to read a book that Soren loves that also has STUNNING illustrations. "Firefighters A to Z" by Chris Demarest is a work of art and I highly recommend it if you're reading about firefighters. For a kid who's moderately obsessed, I'd say it's a home library staple.

I've included this last choice, "Hannah the Helicopter" as a friendly reminder that good books are ready available in the dollar section at your local Target. I read a nearly life-changing article about the link between reading in early childhood and literacy and life success. It stated that the average child in a middle class neighborhood owns an average of 13 books. I was stunned. While the books in the dollar bin aren't Pullitzer Prize winning by any means, this is one of many $1 books that captivate my little guy's attention. We've read this book scores of times, watching Hannah rescue firefighters battling forest fires, receiving recognition, getting down and dirty while doing hard work. I work our little home library on a tight budget. I rely on the library and great deals. If you aren't reading to your kids because of a similar tight budget, it's time to think outside the box (and read that article!!!).

When Soren and I read books on a theme, we read as many books as we can (at least seven new books a week), and then I incorporate a craft, a field trip, or a movie (last resort) to make the learning experience as tangible as possible.  We were delighted to visit a firehouse in our town. My biggest mistake? Soren is now under the impression that he can walk into any given firehouse at any time and go sit in the driver's seat. We're working on clarifying this small misunderstanding.

When we go on field trips like this one, I take video snapshots of what Soren does and learns, and we refer to them regularly. Take for example, lifting the heavy hose. I remind Soren how heavy it was, and encourage him to eat healthy meals so he can grow big and strong and use heavy tools like that one. I show him the pictures of the neatly organized tools and equipment in the fire truck, and we talk about being orderly at home, putting things where they belong.

I've found that combining books with a little hands-on learning and then some imaginative play is a winning combination! We are having a blast, Soren's interest in books is growing, his vocabulary is exploding, his imagination is blossoming. I must say, all of this is a lot easier with someone to help me. Mom went home to New York City, and she's very missed. This field trip business is a little challenging with 15 lbs of infant strapped to my chest!